You’ve heard the jokes. They’re not funny. What’s the difference between an accordionist and a terrorist? A terrorist has sympathizers. Not funny, I tell you.

Syndicated cartoonist Gary Larson (The Far Side) used to lead the insult brigade. He put his favorite on a greeting card sold all over the world. The caption read, “Welcome to Heaven, here’s your harp. Welcome to Hell, here is your accordion.” Not funny? All right, maybe a little bit funny.

Accordionists get no respect. I know. I used to be an accordionist. OK, still am. No respect I get.

My mother made me do it. I was not born to squeeze. My mother decided I should learn the instrument after being captivated by a man selling lessons door to door. I wish I had answered the door that day.

Read the rest of this column at Facts & Opinions: Journalism Matters, the online journal of first-rate reporting and analysis.